bluephoenix20

my life is my own written story

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When I'm Gone (Trigger Warning) by bluephoenix20, literature

I am Not Strong by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

I am Not Strong

I am not strong Although I try to be Still, I fall and break I bleed inside and out I am not strong Even if I look like it There are cracks in the facade If you look hard enough I am not strong Every day, I try hard to fight But often, I just want to give in I am tired, always so tired I am not strong I wish I could be But the walls are crumbling And I am crushed within

Unrequited Love Letter by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Unrequited Love Letter

Dearest, The circumstances which made our paths crossed, are also the reasons why I cannot say this out loud. I love you. I never thought I would love again, but I did. With you. And it hurts me to know that you might never know. So, I put the words into action, hoping that the song I cannot sing for you may be felt instead as a blanket of comfort. In your moments of sadness and happiness I am here, always here. Just watching over you as you journey through life. The friendly face you seek among the sea of strangers. My love, I am happy that I met you. My heart is joyful that you are a part of my life. And a beautiful story of friendship began. But every story must end some time and ours might be ending soon. You have the soul of a gypsy, and you are meant to fly away. I cannot and will not ever hold you back. Your happiness will always be mine. Wherever you might go, even if time and distance keep us apart, I hope you will always remember me. And know that my heart is yours. My

Done by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Done

I am done I'm done trying to be part Of a world that doesn't want me I am tired of fighting Of pushing the walls that wouldn't budge Trying to make enough space For me to grow and flourish I am done I am so freaking done Of trying to fit in with people Who neither understand nor accept The way I think and feel I'm exhausted from swimming against the currents And I just want to let the waves carry me away Wherever it will lead, I don't care I don't want to fight anymore And I don’t want to waste time and effort Knowing I will only lose in the end So, I am done I am finally f---ing done I will stop caring I will stop hoping I will stop wishing I will just be me, with all my wounds and scars Going where the wind blows Following no road or path No destination in mind Whatever happens, happens I don't give a damn.

Stardust by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Stardust

We are made of stars That’s what I choose to believe Our hearts were once cores Of heaven’s glittering diamonds Shining brightly in the sky There is energy and light Within our spirits Connecting us despite the great distance We are made of fallen stars But we have risen again And though the path ahead Seems dark and terrifying The fire inside us will be our guide So that we may find our home We are made of stardust And a part of me is yours As you are a part of mine It may take us another lifetime Or billions of light years But we will see each other again We are connected by the invisible thread Unraveling i

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When I'm Gone (Trigger Warning) by bluephoenix20, literature

I am Not Strong by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

I am Not Strong

Unrequited Love Letter by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Unrequited Love Letter

Done by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Done

Stardust by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Stardust

One Day by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

One Day

One day, Everything between you two will change The things you've gotten used to Will be those you'll miss the most Mornings and nights will pass Without a word from her lips Soon you'll forget the sound of her voice All the quirks and nuisances That annoyed you to no end Will just be memories you'll look back to. One day, You'll sleep quietly at night Without that long conversations You used to have with her And you will wake up In the silence, even in her presence She will no longer look at you Like the sun rises in your eyes And you'll wish you've looked at her More times than you could count. One day, Everything you'v

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What Could Have Been by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

What Could Have Been

(2015.11.23) I could have loved you I could've been yours I could've held your hand and never let you go We could've had forever It could've been real We could've saved ourselves the time fighting what we feel We could've had happiness We would've been content I wouldn't have to try so hard to lie and to pretend You could've held me You could've been my home I could've found comfort everyday knowing I'm not alone I could've been there for you I could've been your lover I would've been your shining light amidst your darkest hour We could've had eternity We could've had time I could've been your everything surely a

Falling in Love by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Falling in Love

I don’t want to fall in love. I’ve done it several times before, And all it left me were scars and bruises, And a thousand reminders of why Giving your heart to someone else hurts. Of why falling in love is walking on a ledge, And both sides are chasms of uncertainty And either way is going to be painful. So, I don’t want to fall in love. Or be swept off my feet by grand gestures, Only to land hard on my back. And wake up to the reality That I am no princess, life is not a fairytale, And roses will wilt come winter time I am done with falling in love. Falling will only lead to broken hearts, And more wounds t

Reminder by bluephoenix20, literature

Literature

Reminder

You are strong, you are smart, and you are beautiful. You don't need to wear your heart on your sleeve Or serve it on a silver platter Just so a man can tear it down to pieces in front of you. You are perfect the way you are You only need to please yourself and nobody else. People will come and go in your life But you will decide who will stay in your heart. Tears are not signs of weakness It is strength in liquid form And they only flow out because you are too full. Change your hair, color it wild, You are the master of your own body. You can be whoever you want to be, You don't need others' opinion of you. Be happy with what you have. Or fi

The Pen of Guilt by Resterian, literature

Literature

The Pen of Guilt

I bought a pen today, Ball-point, black, all I can say, I took it home, put it to paper, And how the words came, like a wave, but greater, I let people down, blamed all but me, But the pen, scrawled it down for all to see, Every law broken, every lie told, every life lost I couldn't stop it, my muscles turned to frost, Guided by The Pen of Guilt, That some demon built, A sword with no hilt, Like a flower, I wilt, It took all things, great and small, Words across the page, then onto the wall, But there was one shame that repeated, How I wish I had retreated, In perfect handwriting, not a letter out of place, It painted the pic

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touch colors by bluephoenix20, visual art

touch colors

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About bluephoenix20

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

Feb 20
Japan
Deviant for 12 years
bluephoenix20.tumblr.com/
She / Her

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My Bio

a proud Filipina artist of the written art.. loves flowing words and rhyming sounds.. uses a lot of adjective and adverbs to describe a single object..

Favourite Movies

ever after, simone, case closed, romeo and juliet (old and new versions)

Favourite Books

books in these genres: mystery, suspense, fantasy, romance, young adult

Favourite Writers

ann rule, jodi picoult, luanne rice, jk rowling, neil gaiman, roald dahl, eion colfer

Favourite Games

sims3

Tools of the Trade

words and figures

Other Interests

books, manga, music, films

Posts

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bluephoenix20

Oct 8, 2018

Letter to My Younger Self

0 min read

To my younger self (2005), I wish I could have talked to you and prepared you for what was to come. You are so young and excited to experience everything the world has to offer. I wish you could stay that way. Be brave and don’t turn your eyes from the things you are afraid of. School and grades are important at that moment in your life, but the friendships you’ll make will help you survive the real world. Not all the friends you’ve made will lasts a long time, so cherish each moment with them. Don’t close off your heart and learn how to communicate. Your closest friends are your second family, love them as you would

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bluephoenix20

Nov 11, 2014

one step closer...

0 min read

The waiting is finally over, and everything went better than I expected. I’ve always put on a strong face, but deep down I was scared and worried. Now, I breathe a great sigh of relief that one of my ordeals have finally passed. I am so happy to have come this far. I know my talent and skills set, and I know that there are a lot of better designers than I am. I really admire them. Nevertheless, this is a proud moment for me. I am another step closer to my goals and that is an achievement by itself. I wish I could say the same for some of my friends, who went through the same hardships as I did, but life is not perfect. However, I am sti

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bluephoenix20

Jan 20, 2014

I've decided...

0 min read

...that I will not tell you what I feel. I've decided not to confess my real feelings regarding the two us. I value our friendship, which we are slowly building, more than this petty crush of mine. I guess I got a little overwhelmed when I finally accepted that I may have feelings for you. But, I see reason now, and I understand what must be done. I know you still like her; you told me so. And I know that you will always look out for her. Your eyes will see only her and will probably never notice me, standing behind you; looking out for you. I hope for endearments and soft whispers, but I will happily satisfy myself with our friendly and casu