The worst part when you left me

The worst part when you left me
Were not the questions you’ve asked
Nor the answers I’ve given
It was not the time when you told me
That it was over between us
Or even when you said that old cliche
“we can still be friends”
The worst part when you left me
Was not how bipolar your timing
When we were so happy in the morning
And devastating at night time
Which was our usual pattern
Every week since the start
The worst part when you left me
Were the reasons you gave
For breaking my heart and my trust
When you said that you never wanted it
The way that it had happened
That you never planned it to be this way
But it did
The worst part when you left me
Was suddenly realizing that everything was a lie
And that I broke down my walls
Just so my heart can be covered with thorns
All those times I put myself aside for you
Meant nothing at all
That my sacrifices were not worth anything
The worst part when you left me
Was recalling all those times I’ve tried so hard
To be who you want me to be
To fit in your life
To be a part of your world
And failing so much that all I felt was guilt
So much guilt for not letting my guard down
The worst part when you left me
Were not the missed opportunities we could’ve had
The things we had planned that would never be
It was the regret of the times I spent crying
Over stupid things because of you
The days I put your needs above my own
When I could have been happy alone
The worst part when you left me
Was the morning afterwards
When you thought we could go back
Acting like nothing ever happened between us
When you insist on your way - again
Not giving me the time I need
To grieve my already battered heart
The worst part when you left me
Was never when you said “goodbye”
Nor when you wanted to stay “friends”
Because friendship was what you wanted all along
It was knowing I endured all those moments
Of your emotional roller coaster
Trying so hard to catch up with you
The worst part when you left me
Was not seeing you everyday
Nor having to act strong and happy
It was the realization that it could have been different
If you just had been honest from the start
But you were not
And the worst thing was that I believed.